One half is timing, the other half's luck

#9. Read 50 Books

Work is making this task almost too easy... This is book 4 I believe (okay, so I've still got 46 more to go), and it's in a similar realm as the other three.

Return to Sullivan's Island, although read for my romance novel project, isn't so much trashy smut as it is women's beach read. It revolves around Beth Hayes, newly graduated, and her struggle to curb her independence and rebellion and relish her friends, family, traditions, and home. There's betrayal, tragedy, sex, ghosts, and Charleston charm. But the sex isn't detailed and the story doesn't revolve around the relationship and desires of the couple but rather on Beth's maturation and coming to terms with her life.

And a guy with the same name and occupation as "boy I'm currently interested in" equals as the love interest. This is the second time, in 4 books, I've run across his name reading. And both times, he turns out to be a sleazeball who takes the girls' heart and throws it out, stomping all over it in the process. He takes her for granted and she falls way too hard, way too fast. And so he leaves her, for one reason or another. And generally, he's not a very nice guy to begin with.

This makes me wonder if my own version of "name" will be any different. His dark, Mediterranean features match the descriptions of the characters (albeit, he's a bit short), and his rogue-ish qualities only add to his appeal. So far, the jury's still out.

Being single, in your early to mid-20's, and in Los Angeles doesn't make dating easy. Work takes up a good majority of the week, and with travel times averaging about 45min each direction, your 8 hour workday (plus an hour lunch) becomes 11 hours from leaving home in the morning to arriving home at night. Then, once you're back, going anywhere else becomes an issue of willpower. It's incredibly difficult to leave (especially the Valley), once you're there. Throw in living in different neighborhoods (i.e. Sherman Oaks and Venice or Eagle Rock and West Hollywood, etc) and seeing people becomes extremely difficult. If New York is the US City for love, LA is for the lonely.

I'm getting frustrated with the lack of effort placed on dating, though. Take me out. Call me. Initiate getting together. Stop flaking out. Or was it just a game, and now that you've successfully caught me, after months of pursuit, of slowly trailing the lure, you've decided you really don't like my flavor? (How's that for a fishing reference... which, unrelated, the stairs at work today totally smelled like a fishing trip... I don't know why, except maybe 24 brought the smell with them...).

Dating has become lazy. Especially in the day of texting and instant messaging, it's rare to receive an actual phone call. And I shouldn't just point the finger at dating... it's everywhere... even my own Mother texts me instead of dialing those 10 numbers. It's easier, requires less attention, and you can carry on multiple conversations at once. Not to mention, if you're in a noisy area, or somewhere you can't carry on an obnoxiously loud conversation for everyone else to hear, texting is a simple solution. The only people I still call almost daily are my Mom (the texting is reserved for when she's tired or one of us is at work... though sometimes I'll call, she won't answer, but then I'll get a text a few minutes later), and Hither (who, again, I still text... and twitter... but we rely on our actual conversations to share news and shoot the breeze). Rarely do I get a phone call from anyone else, much less a guy. Dates are generally set up via text (and occasionally IM), and the late night conversations... if they happen at all, it's the same deal.

So imagine my surprise when I get a call the other night from "boy I'm currently interested in". Worried that he'd taken me up on my invite without warning, I jumped up, preparing to do a mad-beauty-dash. But no, he had just gotten home from work and was just calling to call. No major discussions, no deaths, no plans even made... just a general, "I'm calling to say hello and hear your voice," 10 minute phone-call. It's been awhile since I've been in talks with a boy who has actually called me for no reason. I don't even have that many friends that I do that with... Again, actual phone calls are dying out.

At work, everything is done with email. And only if that doesn't work does the phone come into play. People are so wrapped up in their own personal bubbles, afraid to make contact with others. Everyone is so on-the-go all the time that the energy and time for a phone call are too great of a distraction from their busy lives.

But isn't communicating and connecting with people part of what life is about? When did we become so self-centered and such loners, so cold?

What began as a review of the latest chick-lit I read (I really need to branch out into other genres here, lately it's been so tasteless) has since swirled and looped around to discuss my issues with dating, society's lack of phone-calls, and the loneliness people feel because of it. Hmm...