Submerged in Contradictions

For someone who:

lives and dies for music
searches for the absolute perfect song for any given feeling or moment
has a music collection nearing 15,000 songs
writes poetry and lyrics

...I have to say, I'm painfully bad at actually listening to the lyrics. I hear them, yes, and can somehow sing the words without even hearing the entire song once, but ask me to quote them, and chances are, I can't. Half the time, I don't even know what the song is about other than just the surface reading of it. I don't find hidden subtext flowing under the prattle of empty skies and wet rivers.

It's similar to when you're reading, and other thoughts are occupying your brain, and before you know it, you've read 4 pages but have no idea what just happened. You read the words on auto-pilot but don't comprehend any of the lyricism of prose, the plot or characters. You find yourself re-reading the same paragraph a dozen times because your mind isn't focused.

With music, there are so many elements that make up a song, I have a hard time focusing on just one. I immediately get sucked into the melodies and the harmonies, the rise and fall of the singer's voice and the passion he or she exudes. Then the drums come in, and I spend a majority of the song picking out the rhythms and tapping them out on my legs, steering wheel, table, whatever (drummer's curse). I'll hear the lyrics and croon along with them, but have no idea what they actually mean. Especially in the case of bands that are fans of vague, with metaphors and euphemisms (Hanson is one particular case, but others include Death Cab for Cutie, Fall out Boy, Jason Mraz, etc). It's even more difficult when the lead singer fails to enunciate properly (I'm looking at you Taylor Hanson and Jackson Rathbone), or audio distortion clouds the vocals.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because I was in my car on the way to work this morning (I find I'm burning through cd's much more quickly now that it takes me 45ish minutes one way to work each day), listening to Jason Mraz "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things," and the song "Beautiful Mess" came on... and this is a song I've heard hundreds of times... probably at least 50 in the span of 4 days when Hither and I drove across country last year... I can sing pretty much the entire song, but never paid enough attention to the lyrics to realize how closely it resembles my Gemini-an, two-sided, contradictory personality.

"A Beautiful Mess"

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]

We're still here
What a beautiful mess, this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"

Through, timeless words and priceless pictures We'll fly like birds not of this earth

And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.