I'm Apathetic yet Bothered

It came to my attention today that my roommate (Alexis, not Wes) and I aren't the "favorites" of our bosses. When she first recited the comment, she said we were their "least favorites," but she quickly corrected herself. Not a whole lot better, really. We're still in the metaphorical, cliched doghouse. And what was part of the reasoning? We're girls.

It's common knowledge our bosses play favorites. One likes the new pages, one likes the seasoned ones. One likes girls, the other boys. I've known for some time I was never on their "like" list. The best job opportunities and shifts (mailroom, Press Tour, wrap party coat check) always seem to slip past me without so much as a "hello." I'm rarely given the coveted "head page" positions (since this is written, you can't tell, but coveted is laced with cocaine-induced sarcasm), and even though I don't want them, I'd like the offer and the chance to turn them down. (Because really, being head page just means more stress/responsibility for the same pay, and no one offers you a job because of it, or even lets you attend wrap parties... minus "Dancing With the Stars," who does issue invites... Price makes you coat check their parties, which is crap since without the pages, the show really can't happen).

Lately it seems to be getting worse. A mailroom job opened up and supposedly, they called all the 5-day weekers for their name to be put in hat for the drawing (don't get me started on the absurdity of this... promotions made like they're picking teams for elementary kickball, no regard for skill, or skill in choosing...) and my phone call never came. The reasoning was because I had requested a few days off in the coming weeks for my mom's visit, but I also suspect it's because of the fact I'm a girl, and they just don't like me. So I sat down with my boss, and I asked about what I can do to be considered for the so-called "better" shifts. She said nothing, that I was fine and if they had a problem with my performance, I'd know about it.

So why am I still being refused offers for head page, even though I expressed desire? And why do these same jobs go to those who've put in considerably less time than I have?

And I'd like to point out the hypocrisy of the gender issue. Both of my bosses are women, yet the males are preferred. Women were given the right to vote in 1920 with the 19th amendment, but in the real world, women are still struggling to find equality, especially in industries dominated by men, such as film. There are very few female directors, most of whom no one's heard of, and most of whom are stuck directing rom-com's. Kathryn Bigelow, the director of the recent war film "The Hurt Locker" is one of the few exceptions, but she only had limited distribution for the film and outside of LA, I'm not sure many saw it.

So why does this comment bother me so much? It's not like it was something that surprised me, but to have another say it really struck me. And knowing Mike, it was probably just said in half-jest, an attempt to shake himself out of his self-induced depression, but it still rings true. I work hard for this company, and while I have my bad days (just like everybody), and have a hard time finding motivation and drive to do well in a dead-end job, I'm still competent. I kick ass at writing nametags, and can get the job done, in any position, without having my hand held through it.

I don't appreciate that I'm not appreciated.