Operation: Kick Butt is about to commence. Synchronize watches. Or: Why My Mom Thought I Was Special Ed, Part 4

HOW I BECAME A PERPETUAL YELLOW BELT

Jessie, Colt, Jason, Red Jaguar, GUTS, Gretl

After Lucky, there was a string of smaller, less-intensified characters. I was getting older and was beginning to be able to differentiate between real and fantasy a bit more, but I still wanted to emulate my favorite movies and characters. Though I might have gained the sense to answer to Becca, I took up hobbies and played a lot of make-believe with my cousins. 

There was Free Willy. God, I loved this movie. Orcas were my new favorite animal, and I would try to spray the dustcan spray into the same pattern Jessie used when spray-painting. I used to run around and fling my arm up like Willy was jumping over it. (Side note, I was telling friends about this the other day and Beth and I just about died with my impersonation of myself at six). I went through this phase where I always had my hand raised in pictures. No one's quite sure why, but I had the epiphany lately that it might have been because of Willy the Whale. The weird thing is, despite this obsession with having my hand raised, when it came time to do it for the health screenings at school (where you hear a beep and raise the hand of the side you heard it), I started crying. I was afraid of the beeps! I guess it's only fun when everyone thought you were crazy.

Next was 3 Ninjas. Colt, the middle one with "spirit" was my favorite this time (and foreshadowed my love of swoopy hair). He was rebellious, funny, and cute. (What? I AM a girl). Plus, Rocky was boring and Tum-Tum was goofy, so I always made my younger cousin Jay be one of them when we played ninjas (he chose Tum-Tum, which worked really well since he kind of looked like him anyway, and then we would always kick imaginary Rocky's ass). We would spend hours running around, fighting make-believe bad guys around my Dad's farm, dressed in our karate robes. Because yea, I took karate. (Emulating, remember?) And damn it if I wasn't actually good at it. Everytime I was about to level up though, we moved, and I had to start all over again at a different style. I even did a karate kata at the talent show with one of my karate buddies. Which my Mom was totally making fun of me for THIS CHRISTMAS. I never live this stuff down.

Going along with 3 Ninjas was Power Rangers. The same cousin I forced to be Tum-Tum went along with me on this one too. He liked the blue ranger, me the red (I had serious issues. Did I ever choose the girl after the age of 3? Apparently not. I chose the guy I thought was the hottest. Or the leader. The guys just always had the best parts). We even had outfits! We ran around the docks one day when my Dad was fixing up his sailboat, clad in our flimsy costumes. 

Right around the same time, GUTS and Legend of the Hidden Temple were on Nickelodeon. Those shows were da bomb (apparently they also revert me to phrases I said in the 2nd grade). It was my dream at the time to go to Orlando and make it on one of these two shows. I practiced the swimming/paddling races at the pool, ran up the stairs in a zigzag pattern like I was climbing the AggroCrag, wore my karate medal around, sprinked glitter on my bright yellow helmet, which I then slept in. If you don't think I'm weird by now, you might want to check yourself. I slept in a helmet, y'all. For fun.

PS. Did you know AJ McLean from the Backstreet Boys was on GUTS? He got the silver medal.

PSS. OMG they have GUTS and Legends t-shirts at http://www.templeshirts.com/ !!! As soon as I get paid, I'm totally hitting that up. Then I can just walk around and pretend I was on the show. Like Ben and J did when I made them they found Price is Right nametags.

PPS. At some point there was also Gretl from The Sound of Music, wherein my sister and I acted out the "So Long, Farewell" scene, complete with me "falling asleep" on the stairs and her carrying me the rest of the way.

Next Up: How I fell in love and played imaginary instruments

photos from Google image search, and the one of Ben and J from here