These Blue Yonder Dreams and Second Hand Shoes, Or: Why My Mom Thought I Was Special Ed, Part 5

HOW I FELL IN LOVE
Zac Hanson

This is perhaps the single biggest influence in my entire life. If you've been reading my blog, you no doubtedly know of my love for all things Hanson. I wrote two reviews, included Zac on my backup laminated list (which I now regret... I shamed myself by not putting him at number one), and have mentioned it on numerous occasion. I have loved this band for almost 13 years now. That's over half my life. They've influenced the style of music I like, other bands I listen to, and what I like in a guy. But this isn't me pitching you Hanson.

It all started back in 1997 (which, by the way, was a good year. Hanson, Spice Girls, *NSYNC, Titanic... which I was also mildly obsessed with, going to the point of taking a bath in ice cubes with blue food coloring and doing the half-smile while "drowning" like Jack did, but it in no way compared to Hanson and there isn't much more to that story, so I'm done with it now...). 1997. Right. The first time I heard the song, I saw the video. I'll be honest, I had a hard time believing they were boys. But eventually I came around, bought the album, and subsequently fell in love with Zac.

And so it began. My room was soon littered with posters adorning every space of empty wall, posters I would practice kissing on (oh, we all did that). I even had one on my ceiling, above my bed. I had all the books, knew every detail about Zac and his brothers, stared at pictures for hours. I even wrote fan fiction... The general story went something like this:

• Mom gets offered job as home-school tutor for brothers Hanson
  
• I get sent, alone, a week before to "meet the family"
  
• Zac and I start "dating"
  
• Zac and I make-out to Titanic (I think it said something like every time Jack and Rose kissed, we kissed, only longer)
  
• Zac and I have a competition with Taylor and either my sister or cousin... who can kiss underwater longer... we won, of course, because our love was SO STRONG.
  
• etc, etc, etc.
  

I don't think I ever really ended it... the fan fiction was my just my way of living out my fantasies... and who wants arguments in their love fantasy? At least, not until you're older and they lead to hot make up sex. But at 10, I wanted a blissful love.

Because I'd claimed Zac, my cousin (girl one this time) took Taylor (but secretly nursed a love for Zac I later found out), and my younger stepsister took Isaac, 10 years her senior. And then we'd pretend we were them, blast Middle of Nowhere in my room, and play along. "Taylor" banged her fingers on a desk, "Isaac" strummed a hockey stick, and I jammed out with chopsticks. Considering, at this point, I hadn't yet learned the drums, I wasn't all that bad. We would play our imaginary instruments every time we were together, singing and jamming out. Which led to me actually learning the drums. Which again, I happened to be quite good at (I was the first girl to play quads in my high school marching band, as a freshman... just saying).

The first time I heard Zac talk, it was on the MTV VMA nominees show (where Zac broke the Moonman)... I can remember replaying that over and over and over again. Then they were on Oprah that one time. God I almost died I was so excited. In retrospect, I realize Zac's hammy personality was just his way of coping with the nerves and being thrust into the limelight so quickly at such a young age... poor kid was overwhelmed... but at the time, I loved it. He didn't get a lot of the solos (I recorded that one section in "Madeline" that he sang onto a cassette so I could listen to just that part on repeat), so when he acted out, it meant more attention on him, giving him camera time that I could then cherish.

Sometime around this, my sister made a music video to Shania Twain at the local amusement park (where you stand in front of a green screen and lip sync, basically), and my stepsisters and I wanted to make one too, so we got my Mom's old camcorder and danced around in our living room. What did I choose? The "3 Car Garage" version of "mmmbop" (Which, PS, I have like 6 or 7 DIFFERENT versions of that one song). I did the weird Zac dance where I moved my hands back and forth, wore a headset microphone like he would wear, and lip sync. It's incredibly awkward. I even did this weird jump thing where I leapt off the ground and landed on my back. I can't say my dancing's improved much.

Summer of 1998 I went to my first Hanson concert, 2nd concert overall. I made a sign. Our seats were on the lawn, but it was the best moment of my young little life. Zac was there! I could meet him and we would fall in love and my fan fiction would come true, if only he saw me!!!!

Didn't happen.

That fall, I dressed as Zac for Halloween. Note to younger self: Don't go as a guy for Halloween in the 6th grade. It's weird. I braided my entire head in those little braids like Zac did, I wore a sweater that looked like one he would wear, I carried around my drumsticks, and I wore the tour lanyard (that some people thought was a backstage pass). Yea. I loved him, but I wanted to be him at the same time.

Fast forward to 2005. Freshman year of college. My love of all things Hanson had calmed down considerably in the years they were MIA, and my obsessive personality clung to other pop culture, but a little piece of my heart had been engraved with that Hanson symbol. And then I went to college and had freedom! I could do what I wanted! I could go to concerts without my parent's permission! October 19, 2005. My first Hanson show in 7 years. I found fellow Hanson fans among my classmates, fans who were seasoned with Hanson concert-going and taught me so much. It was that night that I finally met Zac. Perfection. And damn it if we don't look cute together.

I was then invited to roadtrip to Orlando (a good 10 or so hours away) two days later to see them again. Which I did. I've since met Zac again, walked next to him for a mile around Los Angeles (yay for Take The Walk, their 1 mile fangirl chase charity walk they do before every show), seen them a total of six times (which, in Hanson world, is nothing), heard my absolute favorite Hanson song live, and gotten that tour lanyard signed (Zac looked at it and something like "oh wow"), seen Taylor fall off the stage, etc. A part of me died when he got married, that part shriveled even more when he had a son, but Zac will always remain my first love, and pretty much epitomizes what I look for in a guy.

Oh and PS: Some of my "friends" met him the other night, backstage before their show, and I had to find out via twitter. I was incredibly pissed and jealous at the same time. One of them, in particular, knows and makes fun of my love for Hanson and Zac, and thought about me, but didn't think to text me? Ass.

Next up: How I Learned Synchronization and Stalked the TV Listings (final installment)

photos from Google image search, 100monkeys twitter, and me